you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
