Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I want to make a zoo with you.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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