She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
