Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
