yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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