dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
