dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
