ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Can I color on your dick again?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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