True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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