You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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