he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
