No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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