I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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