Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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