we were pretty classy up until the second keg
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
bring money and cleavage
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
