lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
