She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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