no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
