...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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