Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
