the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I need moral support for this bender
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
