so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
