I wanna bring you to show and tell
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
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