He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
