just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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