Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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