Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
