But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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