Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
