just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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