i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
