What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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