What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
