So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
