this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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