I need help removing her.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
