I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
