I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
