I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
