just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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