how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
