Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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