she kept yelling 'call me bella'
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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