Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
