Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I am available for nakedness
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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