there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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