Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
