So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We need to rekindle our bromance
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
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2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
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He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize