PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
