I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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