had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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