Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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