Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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