You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
