Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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