Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
