Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I look better un-naked...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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