When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Dicks are not precious.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
