you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
