How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
