Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
