Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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