Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
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He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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