The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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