I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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