We won't sleep together?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
