I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
